Currently there are two contrasting reasons that together have led me to the decision to sit down and type. The first and more simplistic reason for joining the blogging community has been my current decision to begin pursuing running and competing at the elite level. This was a decision that I did not easily arrive upon as I am sure that most of the journey will be an uphill battle of early mornings, conquering physical/mental pain, overcoming injuries, and possibly performance let downs. But I have decided to begin training in spite of these possibilities to see how far I can go, how good I can be, and to dare myself to understand what I’m really made of. To find success will require two non-physical attributions…honesty and accountability.
This blog will be my outlet as I experience the highs and low of striving to be great. My goal of sitting down every week and writing down something regarding the progress I’ve made towards becoming elite will require honesty. My experience in this world has shown me that honesty with oneself can be an intimidating feat and it’s possible, and even easy, to lie to ourselves. By coming to a safe place and sitting and writing I hope to be honest in answering the following questions which I feel are important to reach my goals. Does my work ethic this week reflect my desire to achieve this goal? Are my priorities in line? What sacrifices have been made, and are they worth it?
Being able to come back to these questions at different times throughout training and give honest answers may be challenging at times. Maybe I skipped a workout with no real reason. Maybe I chose to stay out late one night and that resulted in a sup-par training run. Maybe I’m giving too much to trainingand my life has fallen out of balance. If I ever find myself lying to make sure that the answer appears as I wish, then I need to spend some time doing personal reflection. I need to spend the time (and keystrokes) evaluating why I’m still pursuing this goal. I believe that this level of honesty will translate into medeveloping into a better runner. I will have a record of trends in my attitudes towards training and over time learn how to quickly identify and adjust any negativity before it becomes all-encompassing while at the same time learning how to foster positivity.
The final and really end all be all point of blogging as I chase this dream of elevating my running boils down to accountability. Can I be accountable to myself? My coach? My family? And those who have chosen to follow this blog? Being faithful to this blog will bring me one step closer to being fully accountablewith myself. Accountability for me is simple to sum up, show up and do the work that is necessary to get where I want to go.
The second reason that I have chosen to start up “Running on Sundays” is because in the past I have run…a lot. And a lot of that running occurred on…DRUM ROLL PLEASE…Sundays (shocker, I know). In typical fashion, my long runs have 99.99% of the time been scheduled for Sunday. These long runs became very long runs back in 2012 when I trained for my first marathon, the Top of Utah. Several years ago I put away the headphones and gave up listening to music. So that leaves me running by myself and with no music. Hours of solitude…something that is truly a rare treat in these days of constant connection. Minimizing external distractions forced me to go within to pass the hours, minutes, and seconds.
Several people ask how I can run for 2+ hours without music to distract from my own thoughts. To that I reply, “It allows me to search the corners of my mind which are typically forgotten, areas of thought that we subconsciously shut down. I get to know myself in the realest (and sometimes rawest) of ways during those hours.” Some of the paths that my mind takes me down are motivating & encouraging while others have taken me to dark & lonely places. Coincidentally these thoughts physically manifest themselves in the quality of my run…mind over matter, I suppose.
Coming full circle to how all this relates to blogging…a year after starting marathon training I still have journals filled with monologues that I have generated over the course of 100’s of miles of solitude. While my current training is focused on half-marathons that does not keep me from logging hours of time alone and continuing to soul search. I am finally ready to share the thoughts of past runs and whatever thoughts come up in future runs. I am ready to be vulnerable by exposing who I am and what I’m made of. As time (and training) progresses I will share these monologues from previous long runs and current long runs with you all.
I am looking forward to finding the courage to open up to everyone who is out there. My hope is that each and every one of you will find your own benefit from “Running on Sundays”.
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